If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
