my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm just crazy horny about you
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
