I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
