After last night, I could never be a politician.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
