i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
