Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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