It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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