I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
