just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
His nipple licking is glorious
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