Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
