i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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