I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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