this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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