If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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