What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
