it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize