I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have so many feelings about this burrito
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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