I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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