What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
