so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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