Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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