i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
