Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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