He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
