his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
