office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
