yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
