He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
