I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
