So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My vagina is officially offended.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
