Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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