so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
