I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
