Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he thought i was a dude.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
