If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize