K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
