There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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