so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
