paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
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I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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