On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
