So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
