Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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