I just made out with a guy for $7.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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