Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
