haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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