I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize