didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if only i could text you this smell
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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