i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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