Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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