This is not my ceiling
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
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mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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