I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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