So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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