So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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