I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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