i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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