I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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