TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
