My hair reeks of homosexuality.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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