You work out of a Hotel?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
