Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
